babies

A Glimpse of Our Last Year in Photos

June 26, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

I finally dusted the cobwebs off of our nice camera and uploaded all the pictures onto my computer. Below are some of my favorites. This has made me realize that it’s rare for Raf and I to be in the same photo. I’m putting ‘get some nice family pictures’ on my none existent to-do list. The sofa series at the end completely slays me.

He loves his backpack!

We took a trip to NYC in October and Asher decided he HAD to caress and kiss my BARE belly in the middle of sheep’s meadow…

Halloween 2014 – last minute DIY Jedi Knight costume. Second Halloween in a row that we had head colds the week leading up to it and thus had to scrape something together last minute.

Proof that we really did start taking weekly belly shots but then we moved and life happened and we totally flaked…sorry Bennett!

That time Raf grew his beard out and we had to document it before he finally succumbed to my pleas for him to shave it off.

Yet another attempt at documenting my pregnancy with Bennett like we did with Asher.

ASHER’S FACE IS EVERYTHING!!! Seriously, I have never seen a sweeter expression of love or pride than this one on his face as he gazes at his brand new sister for one of the first times.

My sweet Bennett.

“The sibling relationship is the longest relationship we will have with anyone on this planet” – Grandma Carol

The aforementioned couch series. Enjoy!

Teething

March 27, 2014 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 1 Comment

Often, many parents blame everything from fussiness to drool on teething and while that may very well be the culprit, it isn’t always the case.

The number one thing that I have heard parents associate with teething is drool. Copious amounts of drool. And yes, babies do often drool more when they are teething (this is especially true for babies who were already droolers), but drool on it’s own is not a sign of teething. Asher started drooling like a faucet at 2 months old but he didn’t get his first tooth until he was 7 months old. Five months of teething? I think not. In fact, drooling is an important part of cognitive development for babies and even though some babies may not seem to drool, it’s just because they’ve figured out how to swallow the excess saliva rather than dribble it out.

All babies experience teething differently. Some babies are inconsolable while others will pop a pair of molars without anyone being the wiser. There is really no way to tell but in general most babies fall somewhere in the middle, with some teeth bothering them more than others. So even though most parents (myself included) love to blame a bout of fussiness on teething, it just may not be the case.

The only sure fire way to tell if your child is teething it to look for red, swollen and inflamed gums in the area you expect a tooth to appear. And keep in mind that teeth generally appear in pairs although they’re usually staggered.

Teething discomfort (if it’s present) can last anywhere from 2-3 days up to a week PER tooth for the canines and incisors, but the molars can take anywhere from one week to several months.

While teeth can appear in any order and at a wide range of times (some babies are born with pearly whites, while others are all gums until well after a year) on average the first tooth usually appears around 6-10 months. The following image illustrates the most common order and age range of eruption for primary teeth:

Ok, ok, that’s all very well and good you say, but what you really want to know is what you can do to help sooth a baby who’s having a rough time of teething.

Well let me start off with what you shouldn’t do. DO NOT use any products containing benzocaine (ex. Orajel). Doing so can lead to methemoglobinemia, which is a serious and sometimes fatal condition, which is why the “FDA recommends that parents and caregivers not use benzocaine products for children younger than 2 years, except under the advice and supervision of a health care professional”.

Instead you can try any or all the following:

Using a teething ring or wet wash cloth that has been chilled in the refrigerator (not the freezer).

Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen are great options (especially at night when other methods may interfere with sleep). Although you should always check with your pediatrician first before using any medications, (including homeopathic ones).

Massage the area with your finger.

Put frozen fruit in a mesh baby feeder and letting your baby (6 months and older) gnaw on it:

What are your experiences with teething? Do you have any remedies that you swear by?

The Great Vaccine Debate

December 5, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Here I am with yet another hot button topic (I just can’t seem to stay away from them): vaccines. Whether or not to vaccinate your children has become an increasingly controversial subject, but honestly I just don’t get it. There are a lot of ‘anti-vaccination’ and ‘vaccines cause autism’ propaganda out there that aren’t based in evidence whatsoever. In my experience, when I’ve been talking to someone who is against vaccinating and I ask them why and then follow up by asking for scientific evidence that backs up that belief, more often than not they don’t have the evidence or I am directed to some blog post someone has written or some article on some natural health website, none of which have any scientific evidence based research to back them up.

I mean I get it. The thought of doing anything that could lead to a negative outcome for your child is really scary, but I can not abide fear mongering. I can’t stress enough, that parents need to do their due diligence and do some actual research, talk about it in depth with your child’s pediatrician in order to determine the best vaccination schedule for your child, read scientific journal articles on the subject and take what other parents say with a HUGE grain of salt.

The truth is: vaccines save lives.

The second truth is: vaccines do not cause autism. (1)

I am pro vaccination. Not only am I protecting my family by choosing to vaccinate, but I’m also helping to protect the entire population. I think everyone should get vaccinated but that doesn’t mean that everyone needs to follow the same vaccination schedule. It is important to talk to your pediatrician about coming up with vaccination schedule that is right for your child, that may mean sticking to the standard one or it could mean coming up with something different, just as long the end result is the same. However, it is important to note that the risk of autism is not increased by the amount of vaccines you get at once. (2)

Some of you may be thinking: “Wait a minute what about the study by Andrew Wakefield that was published in the Lancet back in 1998?” Well, I suggest you read the actual study and then read this.

What are your thoughts on vaccination?

Sources:

(1). Gerber, J. S., & Offit, P. A. (2009). Vaccines and Autism: A Tale of Shifting Hypotheses. Clinical Infectious Diseases , 456-461.

(2). DeSefano, F. (2013). Increasing Exposure to Antibody-Stimulating Proteins and Polysaccharides in Vaccines Is Not Associated with Risk of Autism. The Journal of Pediatrics , 561-567. (If you don’t feel like reading the whole article, this sums it up nicely).

For Your Listening Pleasure // What You Need To Know About Babies, Toddlers And Screen Time

October 28, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Is screen time harmful to babies and young toddlers? This is an issue of our age, something that previous generations never had to worry about. This podcast by NPR helps to shed some light on the issue. Passive screen time should be discouraged, while active screen time is actually beneficial.

In general my thoughts have always been that I don’t want my children to have much screen time. I don’t want them watching TV (in fact I wish we didn’t even own one) and I really don’t want them playing video games or having smart phones. My reasoning is this: I want our children to live in the real world, to have real interactions and to learn valuable social skills. I don’t want them to be bombarded by TV commercials telling them that they need ‘stuff’to be happy. I don’t want them to play video games at the cost of going outside and playing or using their imagination. I don’t want them to be so uncomfortable in silence or boredom that they automatically turn on a device.

Now with that said, Asher Facetimes practically everyday with one or more sets of grandparents and I have never thought to include that into my ‘minimal screen time’ rule because I see how beneficial it is for all the parties involved. I will also on occasion put an episode of Sesame Street or Curious George on Netflix. Admittedly, I always feel guilty doing so, but ultimately sometimes you just gotta do whatcha gotta do. I doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Moderation (maybe even extreme moderation) is key here. A little bit of passive screen time won’t set him back too much. Do I wish that he didn’t have any? Absolutely, but I’m not perfect.

The true test for me though, just like Jennifer Grover from the podcast, is to learn to rein in my attention to my laptop in front of Asher. I believe that that best way to ensure that he is engaged in the present world is for Raf and I to set that example.

So go listen to this and let me know your thoughts.

For Your Viewing Pleasure // Embarrassed

July 8, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 2 Comments

This beautiful spoken word by Hollie McNish, really hit home for me. For the most part I have chosen to breastfeed sans nursing cover because I hate how this society has deemed that the only acceptable role for breasts is a sexual one. Women dancing around topless and completely exposed in a Justin Timberlake music video: totally fine, but a mother feeding her child in public: shameful and disgusting.

This must change. I’m all for modesty. In fact I believe modesty is empowering, but with that said, I do not believe a mother breastfeeding her child is in any way immodest. Breasts are meant to feed babies. This is their primary purpose and function. What’s truly disgusting is twisting them into something so over-sexualized that they basically reduce a woman to the summation of her parts.

Am I totally comfortable nursing Asher in public? No, not at all, far from it. But it comes down to the principle for me. I want to take a stand. My heart aches every time I hear a story of a mother being shamed for nursing, or asked to leave or to cover up. I feel like it shouldn’t be something we need to think twice about, or worry about or debate. So I choose to nurse my son without a cover with the hopes that one day this will become a none issue. Breast is best after all.

For Your Listening Pleasure // Parents’ Saliva On Pacifiers Could Ward Off Baby’s Allergies

May 18, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 2 Comments

Perhaps not washing Asher’s pacifier every time it hits the floor is actually helping his immune system. Listen to this pod cast to hear all about it. I wouldn’t get extreme about this, I mean, I’m not going to suck on Asher’s pacifier and give it right back to him if it falls on a public restroom floor, but if it’s my dining room floor, why not? I would be interested in more studies like this being done to find out whether or not this claim holds up. In any case, it seems that Asher has ditched his pacifier and upgraded to his thumb, which is constantly touching the floor anyway.

Go listen to this.

Surviving Growth Spurts

May 8, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 2 Comments

When you’re a new parent it can be tough to tell when your child is going through a growth spurt and figuring out how best to get through them can feel like walking a gauntlet. Growth spurts can be incredibly confusing and frustrating, just when you thought you had your little one’s schedule all figured out a growth spurt will hit that can send their whole routine spiraling out of control. Asher generally sleeps very well at night, but during a growth spurt, he may wake up as often as every hour or two requesting, nay demanding to be fed. Needless to say this is no fun for either of us.

Growth spurts are an important part of infant development and are usually accompanied by an increased appetite either followed or preceded by longer periods of sleep. Babies need sleep in order to grow. There is a strong relationship between sleep amount and growth spurts, which indicates that it is very important for infants to get high quality sleep (1).

Frequency:

Most babies will experience 5-7 major growth spurts in their first year, these occur at around 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months and 9 months. However every baby is different so this time frame should just be used as a rough guideline.

Duration:

Most growth spurts last 2-4 days, but some can last up to a week or more.

How To Spot a Growth Spurt:

There are several signals that can tip you off that your little one is in fact experiencing a growth spurt.

Hunger: Your tiny tot will generally have a seemingly insatiable appetite and may want to eat seemingly around the clock, sometimes every hour. If you are exclusively breastfeeding resist the urge to supplement with formula or expressed milk during this time. The best way to increase your milk supply and support the higher caloric demands of your child is to put your baby to the breast as frequently as possible. Short but frequent feedings are better than long and infrequent feedings at signalling to your breasts to produce more milk. If you really want to try to speed things along, then you can consider pumping for 10 minutes after each feeding, just make sure to freeze the milk you pump for a rainy day rather than give it to your baby during the growth spurt.

Mood: Your little one may also be quite cranky or fussier than normal, which can sometimes be mistaken for colic. They may even complain while at the breast, pulling of and re-latching over and over. This mood swing is due in part from lack of sleep (eating all the time really interrupts catching some good quality shut eye) and in part due to the higher caloric demands (they want more milk NOW).

Disrupted Sleep: Your baby will likely wake up more often at night in order satisfy their increased appetite. Some parents find this one the hardest to identify. It can sometimes be hard to tell if your baby is going through a growth spurt or experiencing sleep regression. The best way to tell is if your baby is waking up at the same times every night, then it is probably sleep regression or habitual waking. However if the waking times are sporadic and hold no pattern then you are likely dealing with a growth spurt, in which case it’s best to feed your baby promptly. I have definitely been guilty of mistaking a growth spurt for sleep regression and let me tell you, doing so just prolongs the whole process and makes it that much more painful for you both.

Increased Sleep: As I mentioned earlier, either preceding or following a period of increased feeding your baby will exhibit periods of extended sleep. Don’t wake up the baby to feed during this time because sleep is essential for their growth. In fact babies generally do most of their growing while they are asleep (2) and can gain 1-3 ounces and grow up to 1 cm in length over the course of a day (3). I suggest reveling in this respite and catching up on some sleep yourself.

When to Be Concerned:

If your little one is still experiencing the signs of a growth spurt for longer than two weeks or doesn’t seem to be gaining weight you should talk to your child’s pediatrician to rule out any other problems. In fact if you’re worried about whether or not your baby is getting enough food in general then I suggest going to a lactation consultant and weighing your baby on their high tech scale before and after a feeding. That way they will be able to tell how many ounces your baby is consuming, which is pretty neat!

How Best to Survive a Growth Spurt:

The best thing you can do during a growth spurt is to hunker down and ride it out. Feed on demand. You may feel like you’re nursing non-stop, and that’s probably because you are. Just remember there is an end in sight and the less you resist the process, the easier it will be. In the meantime take extra care of yourself. Drink lots and lots of water and make sure you eat sufficiently to help support your increasing milk supply. All the late night feedings may leave you feeling extra exhausted and strung out so make sure to cut yourself some slack and enlist help to tackle all the non-growth spurt related tasks. When Asher is going through a growth spurt, I like to curl up with him and nurse whenever he wants it, which is constantly. Don’t expect to get much else done.

(1). Lampl, M., & Johnson, M. L. (2011). Infant Growth in Length Follows Prolonged Sleep and Increased Naps. Sleep , 34 (5), 641–650.

(2). Tikotzky, L., DE Marcas, G., Har-Toov, J., Dollberg, S., Bar-Haim, Y., & Sadeh, A. (2010). Sleep and physical growth in infants during the ﬁrst 6 months. Journal of Sleep Research , 19, 103-110.

(3). Kirton, B. (2012, Novemeber 6). Everything you need to know about infant growth spurts. Retrieved May 7, 2013, from Life Stages Feeding: http://www.lifestagesfeeding.com/blog/everything-you-need-to-know-about-infant-growth-spurts/

Sleep Training // Part 1

May 2, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 2 Comments

Sleep, blessed sleep. The thing everyone tells you you’ll never get enough of once you’re a parent and you believe it but can’t quite comprehend it until you are in fact, a parent.

Asher was a fairly good sleeper right from the start due in large part to the fact that I had been given strict instructions from his pediatrician to wake him up and feed him every 2 hours. Luckily we only had to do that for four days, but it really helped get his sleep pattern in check. You see, the poor thing was so tired and I was constantly having to wake him up to feed him that it did two things: first, it meant that he became used to waiting for me to wake him up and feed him, which in turn helped get his days and nights set, and really that’s half the battle.

By the time he was 1 week old he was doing a solid 4 hour stretch of sleep at night, and when we started a night-time routine at 6 weeks old he began sleeping 6 hours straight. The problem was, however, that GETTING him to fall asleep was not so easy.

God forbid if I tried to rock him while standing in place, that child required forward motion and nothing else would do.

It required that I either a: nurse him to sleep, or b: hold him on his side with a pacifier in him mouth and his face pressed to my chest while I paced back and forth patting his bottom and singing him a song. God forbid if I tried to rock him while standing in place, that child required forward motion and nothing else would do. This wouldn’t have been terrible if it weren’t for the fact that Raf wasn’t able to do it 8 times out of 10, which meant that the bulk of getting him to sleep fell on my shoulders. Additionally, the only way Asher would nap during the day for longer that 20 minutes was if he was physically on my person.

Something had to give.

Right before Asher turned 3 months old we had just returned from our trip to Israel and thought that this would be the perfect time to sleep train him. We decided to rip the band-aid off in one fell swoop. We moved him into his own room, stopped swaddling him and began sleep training all at the same time. Sleeping well is a learned skill for babies and the biggest obstacle to overcome is self soothing.

Sleeping well is a learned skill for babies and the biggest obstacle to over come is self soothing.

We used the ‘progressive waiting’ method, which is a more accurate name for the well known ‘cry it out’ method. This does involve some crying so it is not for the faint of heart or the weak willed. The keys to success with this method are: 1. Make sure you put the baby down when they are fully awake. 2. Do not pick them up when you go in to comfort them. 3. Be consistent. 4. Establish a bedtime and nap routine if you haven’t already.

It works like this. You go about your bed time routine as normal. For us, this involves taking a bath, playing lullaby music, reading a story, saying prayers, have a night cap, singing a song and finally turning on a sound machine that plays ocean waves. I know that seems like a lot, but some of these things are happening at the same time, the whole process takes about 30 minutes from when bath time starts to when I put him down in his crib (before sleep training I would nurse him to sleep at the end of his bedtime routine). Ok, once you finish your routine, put the baby down in the crib when they are still awake and leave the room. I tell Asher “it’s sleep sleep time” and that I love him, give him a goodnight kiss and then leave. When you first do this the baby will most likely be crying, because they are used to YOU putting them to sleep rather than needing to put THEMSELVES to sleep. Once you have left the room you wait 3 minutes and go back in and pat and sooth the baby, replace a pacifier, what have you, but DO NOT pick them up or you will have to start all over. Only stay in the room for 1 minute and then leave again even if they are still crying. Now you wait 5 minutes and repeat. Finally you wait 7 minutes and repeat. If the baby is still not asleep after the longest wait time for that day, keep repeating the longest wait time until they have fallen asleep with you out of the room.

The wait times get longer with each successive day. I have listed the times we used below but feel free to set whatever times you feel comfortable with, just make sure you’re consistent.

Day 1. 3 min, 5 min, 7 min

Day 2: 5 min, 7 min, 10 min

Day 3: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min

Day 4: 10 min, 12 min, 15 min

Day 5: 12 min, 15 min, 17min

Day 6: 15 min, 17 min, 20 min

Day 7: 17 min, 20 min, 22 min

Do the same thing for all naps. It took Asher 3 days to fall asleep on his own at night without crying and 7 days to fall asleep on his own for naps without crying. If your baby is still not falling asleep their own by day 8, then you can lengthen the time as needed, but if they still haven’t gotten the hang of it by day 14 I suggest tabling it for a while and revisiting sleep training when your baby is a bit older or you could always try another method.

I didn’t continue the progressive waiting throughout the night. Many people do apply the sleep training throughout the night, which normally results in a baby that sleeps through the night. Since Asher wasn’t even 3 months old, I felt it was still important to feed him in the middle of the night if he was hungry. In any case he normally only wakes up once at night to feed and then goes straight back to sleep. Of course there are exceptions, occasionally he will wake up twice and if he’s sick or going through a growth spurt he may wake up every few hours, but for the most part he sleeps 12-13 hours and only gets up once. The exact time he wakes up for his nightly feeding varies. Sometimes he will sleep 10 hours straight and then get up, while other times he’ll get up to feed after 6 hours. Asher will sometimes fuss a bit periodically throughout the night, but I learnt that he isn’t fully awake at these times and is just settling himself back to sleep, while his hunger cry is quite distinct.

It was no easy feat to not go in and scoop him up when he was crying. The only way I got through it was by putting my head phones in and watching the baby monitor light up when he was crying rather than hearing the cries directly. All the pain I felt during that time was well worth it because it resulted in a happier, better rested baby and who can complain about that?

All the pain I felt during that time was well worth it because it resulted in a happier, better rested baby and who can complain about that?

Our next step is determining if, when and how we are going to night wean. Stay tuned.

*UPDATE*

We did it! Check out Sleep Training // Part 2.

For Your Reading Pleasure // The Secrets of Breast Milk

April 27, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding. THIS article by Nicholas Day touches on both how amazing breast milk is and how much of a mystery it is. I know not everyone is able to breastfeed, which is why I am so deeply thankful that I over came my supply issues and thrush and have been able to nurse my son exclusively. It is just so easy and convenient, not to mention cuddly! I love it!

So read this.

For Your Reading Pleasure // How to Have the Best Pregnancy Ever

April 24, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 1 Comment

There is so much information and misinformation circling around out there about what is and isn’t safe during pregnancy and a lot of the time it’s completely contradictory. This can be incredibly confusing and stressful, especially for a pregnant woman who already has enough on her plate to worry about. Tracie Egan Morriseey wrote THIS tongue in cheek article that is absolutely spot on. It just goes to show that you shouldn’t take any one field of thought that you read on the internet too seriously. Your best bet is to speak to a professional directly.

So read this.