Birthing Reese

Like her brother and sister before her, Reese wouldn’t be rushed into making her debut into this world. It seems that I am firmly a 41 weeker. Reese came exactly 7 days past her due date.

The story of her birth really starts the day before on December 9th. I awoke on the ninth with a distinct ‘I’m going to go into labor soon’ ache. I recognized it because it’s the same ache I got the day before Bennett was born.

Side note: It is also worth mentioning that halfway through my pregnancy with Reese we moved away from the D.C. metro area (and our beloved midwives who I had been with for 5 years) to Maine and a whole new set of midwives that I barely knew.

Ok so back to December 9th. My midwives had been stripping my membranes for 2 weeks in an attempt to induce labor and get this baby out asap. It was my third pregnancy carried to term but my fifth pregnancy overall and I was done. I had developed varicosities in my groin that quite literally made me feel like my vagina was going to fall out. So yea, not pleasant and with a recent move and two other children I just really wanted to have my body back. Reese, of course, had other plans. So here I was on December 9th and I knew I would go into labor that night. So I made Asher’s birthday cake (since his birthday is December 11th) and went to visit my brand new niece in the hospital. My brother Jared’s third child, Juliette was born on the morning of December 9th. Even though our babies were due two weeks apart, Juliette was scheduled to be delivered a week early and with my habit of delivering a week late it was looking like that would be born very close indeed. So there I was sitting in the hospital holding my brand new niece and feeling my own baby squirm inside me and I was tingling with excitement that I would be meeting her the next day.

Sure enough, I woke up to consistent contractions at around 1:30am on December 10th after a few hours of laboring at home in front of the fireplace and with my contractions being only 3 minutes apart for an hour, my midwife decided that I should come in even though the contractions weren’t particularly strong. However seeing as this was my third baby, things could take a turn quickly, so I called my dad and once he arrived Raf and I set off for the hospital. My contractions slowed down and spaced out in the car, but they did the same thing with Bennett too. Apparently, I have to labor standing up or moving. After getting to the hospital at around 4am I labored in the room for a bit before they had me get in the bed to monitor me and this is where things started to go south. Don’t worry, nothing dramatic, just not how I would have liked it to go.

It turns out that Reese’s heart rate kept dropping during my contractions when it’s supposed to go up. My midwife (who by the way I was meeting for the first time) had me try laying on first one side and then the other and then my back and then back to my side to try and find the best position for the baby. I wish I would have asked her to let me try standing, but I didn’t and I have no real recollection as to why I didn’t other than the fact that she just told me that I needed to remain confined to my bed. I should have asked her to monitor me standing. In the bed, my contractions spaced waaay out and my labor slowed. I was 5cm dilated when I arrived and despite the fact that things had slowed I gradually progressed to 8cm, where my labor stalled. I remained at 8cm for hours and during every contraction, Raf would try and apply counter pressure or help me get through them and every time is touched me it felt like my skin was on fire. So tired, disappointed that my labor wasn’t going to go the way I wanted it to and daunted by the fact that at the end of this I would be the mother of three children under 4 (even if only for 1 day) I asked for an epidural. Rafaan to his credit did attempt to talk me off the ledge but I was tired and wanted to sleep and my labor wasn’t going anywhere. It was transition purgatory. My midwife agreed without so much as a second to pause (something my previous and beloved midwives would have NEVER done, they would have helped me manage my pain and encouraged me in any number of ways before even entertaining the idea because they knew me well enough to know that I needed that). Around 9am I got the epidural and my contractions spaced out even further. My legs became uncomfortably heavy so much so that I couldn’t move them at all and my labor pretty much came to a halt. I dozed for a while and watched the Crown on Netflix and eventually someone came in and broke my water to try and get things to progress. Still nothing and the hours ticked on, I felt completely disconnected from my body and from the entire labor process and fully regretted getting the epidural. I didn’t like being a passive observer to the birth of my child, I wanted to be actively involved. At some point, my dad came by to provide moral support and told me I should ask for some Pitocin. Finally around 4:30pm I was given the smallest amount of Pitocin (which I had been requesting for a while) and in 40 minutes I was pushing and after 15 hours of acitive labor Reese was born at 5:19pm weighing in at 7lbs 10oz.

I tore a little, because I was just so impatient to meet her that I pushed WAY too hard too fast. So that’s 3 for 3 for me. But she was worth it. She looked totally different than our other children and I had this completely weird feeling of meeting a complete stranger rather than someone I had been sharing everything with for the better part of a year. Which was foreign and unsettling.

I love this little girl so completely I can’t really express it in words. My mother came to see us that night, and then my cousin Sophie and my dear friend Aleah (who was 8 months pregnant with her first child) came. And Sophie held Reese while they watched the video of her birth and I watched them experience the wonder and awe and raw emotions from witnessing it and I’ll always remember that.

The next morning my parents brought Asher and Bennett, as well as my niece and nephew to come to see us and we all sang happy birthday to Asher and ate cake and seeing my older children hold their tiny sister and be immediately smitten with her is one of my sweetest memories.

Reese Marie completes us in a way I could never understand before we had her. I was always fascinated by the notion of how a couple knew that they had enough children and the moment she arrived I felt it, we were complete. Asher and Bennett think she’s the moon and the stars. Reese is a firecracker and such a fun person to be around. Every time I think I have her pegged she throws me a curve ball. It’s taken me 2 years to write her birth story probably in large part due to the fact that I was sad that her delivery didn’t go as planned. It was a magical experience that I was fully connected to, but you know what? It honestly doesn’t matter. Does it still sting? Absolutely, but that’s probably just my test. I need to learn to let go. Reese is perfection. I’m so thankful that she’s a part of our lives and that I get to be her mother. Sure for 7ish hours, I didn’t feel like I was involved in my own labor but in the end, I got a healthy, safe baby and I was healthy and safe and that’s all that matters in the end.

Happy 2nd Birthday Reesey Pea! I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to write finish writing your birth story, a lot has happened in the past two years. Three knee surgeries, your uncle surviving stage three testicular cancer, mommy trying to balance having three (AMAZING) children while juggling a budding career, and most recently a move across the country. Throughout it all, you’ve been an anchor. Your sweet smell, your wonderful scowl, your gap-toothed grin, you’re enthusiastic kisses and your love and dancing, singing, drawing and leaping without looking. You are full of joy. You are amazing in every way and I’m so excited about all the things we have ahead of us!